Arden Rowley

NOTHING is impossible for God...

Since going back to school in the Spring of 2010 - I have worked hard to maintain a 4.0 grade point average.  I have not done this to impress anyone, but rather because it is something I really wanted to do.  However, somewhere along the way it turned into a faith-promoting experience!  I consider myself to be a person with average intelligence, and if I do give my ALL, then most of the times that is sufficient for an "A".  There have been times though, that challenges have arisen to keep me from this goal.  One such time was when I took a college Algebra course with a teacher who was extremely strict and not very understanding.  If we were more than five minutes late - she would tell us that we could stay for observation purposes, but that our homework would NOT be accepted and we were considered absent.  This teacher had a very "precise" way of teaching - and that consisted of her showing problems on the board while we took notes.  SHE DID NOT LIKE QUESTIONS!!!  Many students in her class did not understand and were driven to tears on more than one occasion (myself included).  I was one of the more "bold" ones in her class, and frequently asked questions about things I did not understand.  She got to the point that every time she saw my hand go up - she would roll her eyes and ask in an annoyed voice, "What do you want?"  This was my make it or break it class!  At times, I became so frustrated that I wanted to just give up and get a passing grade...but something inside of me would not let me.  One day I was walking through one of the buildings at school and a T.V. monitor had the following quote flash by: "Continuous effort - NOT strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential" by Winston Churchill.  This inspired me in so many ways, and I realized that it did not matter how "smart" I was or if my skills in math were not up to par.  I decided then and there that I would continue to push forward and give my best effort.  When everything was said and done...at least I knew that I tried.  I started praying to Heavenly Father for this success in my life.  I knew he had a thousand other things to worry about (that were more important then an "A" in a math class) but I had faith.  It came down to my final in the class, and in order to receive an "A" I needed to get an "A" on my final test.  I prepared and studied as much as possible, and then I prayed and left it in the Lord's hands.  I got a 97.5 on my final and passed the class with a 92.5 percent.  This was nothing short of a miracle, and it set me on course to tackle any struggle that came my way in the future.  When I graduated from Mesa Community College in May of 2012 - my math teacher was there and I ran up to her and hugged her tight.  I did not do this because I liked her, but because she was the one that taught me that I was more than I ever thought I could be.  I formed a partnership with the Lord...I expressed my deepest desires to maintain and graduate with a Bachelor's degree with a 4.0 G.P.A.  I knew that it wasn't the most important demand that he was faced with, but I wanted to leave a legacy for my children that anything was possible with the Lord's help!  I am now at Arizona State University and this past semester has been one of the hardest in my life!  I had to take 16 credit hours, and the amount of stress this added to me was tremendous.  I had an online class where the teacher assigned a ridiculous amount of reading and hard to complete assignments.  Whenever I communicated with him - he did not respond in a timely manner or when he did he reprimanded me for not being more patient for his response.  I was required to write a twelve page research paper on U.S. and Latin American relations.  I had completed all of my other assignments on time and had received a good grade on them.  At ASU - an "A" is a 93 percent.  I did my best (with very little guidance) to write my research paper and turn it in before it was due.  Then I prayed...when my grades finally came back _ I received a 93.1 % in the class...if I had even gotten a 92.9 % in the class...I would have received an "A-" and my overall G.P.A. would have been brought down to a 3.92.  I am not posting this to brag...but to implore my children and posterity that the Lord is real...and that he loves his brothers and sisters!  He will always answer our prayers and grant the righteous desires of our hearts (no matter how insignificant) if it be right!  I admonish whoever reads this to stay close to the Lord and to reach for their righteous desires with everything they have...in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, AMEN.

My neice Taylor Allen Escalante gave birth to her fourth son on May 14, 2012 at only 25 weeks old.  He weighed 1 lb. and 15 oz. and was only 12 inches long.  He was a fighter from the beginning and managed to live through a surgery and bleeding on his liver.  He little body could take no more and he returned back to his Heavenly Father at 11:30am this morning.  It is hard enough to lose one child, but this is the second child that Taylor has lost!  In July of 2009 - Taylor lost her little son Nikolus who was born at 26 weeks and lived for 19 days.  My heart goes out to Taylor and her overwhelming saddness that must be there today!  I just want to wrap my arms around her and tell her how much she is truly loved!  This was supposed to be a new start for her...she was recently divorced from her first husband who was truly abusive to her and neglectful of their boys.  She found a wonderful man to spend her life with and this was their first son...in times of loss...words cannot comfort the mournful soul and broken heart of my neice...but just the same...I want her to know she is loved!

"Five Years Have Come and Gone..."

"Robert Shirrel Sellers ~ Sept. 24, 1937 - Oct. 6, 2004"


Five years have come and gone since my dad suffered a massive stroke and died...I can't believe it has been that long. It seems like two parallel universes...one where my dad was alive and with us...and one where his is not! It is like living in two different movies...I don't know any way else how to explain it! I remember the last time that I talked to him...he was at Kinkos and he called me to tell me that he was being taken to the hospital because he was experiencing chest pains. He asked me if I could get a hold of my mom and let her know...because he couldn't reach her. Earlier that morning...he was in an extra good mood...he took the time to smile and joke with the crossing guard...and he wasn't grumpy...like he normally was. It was as if his spirit knew that it would be his last hours on earth...and it wanted to savor every last minute. My mom made it to the hospital...and he seemed ok...except for some slurred speach and balance problems...even an average jo blow could figure out that he was possibly experiencing a stroke...but for some reason the hospital only x-rayed his chest and hot his head. My mom left him for a short while to come home and change...and by the time she came back to the hospital...he had stopped breathing and was put onto life support. The last thing that he said to my mom was, "Hurry up and come back...so we can watch the presidential debate together" - then he was gone. They put him into ICU and kept him on life support...and told us that he needed to be transferred to St. Joseph's hospital...even then we all thought that he would pull through...and that everything would be okay! Around 1:00 am in the morning, my mom, myself (and cosette), Tricia, and Jason went to St. Joseph's to wait for an update on his condition. We waited in the lobby and we were in really good spirits...we laughed and joked about all of the times that my dad had checked himself into a hospital because he thought something was wrong...only to find out that he was a hypochondriac. We honestly didn't realize how bad off he really was! Jason went to the snack machine to get me some crackers, and in the time that he was gone...the Dr. came out to let us know where we stood. He was quite rude and blurted out that my Dad was basicly brain dead and had zero chance of recovery...he told us that my dad had a massive stroke and had bled throughout his brain...then he left...just like that. There was NO compassion or comfort offered by this man...who called himself a doctor! Jason arrived back from his errand to see all of us weeping and distraught...his smile from earlier faded into confusion and then realization...it stunned all of us! They kept my dad on life support until all of my brothers and sisters could make it to the hospital to say goodbye. I said my goodbye the next morning...I didn't want to watch him die...I wanted to remember him alive! I told him in his ear that I loved him...and that while he and I didn't always see eye to eye...I was grateful that he had been my earthly father! I told him to hang in there...and keep fighting through his issues...so we could once more be reunited as a family...to live together forever! Jonathan was 8 years old at the time...and he was so sweet! When David told the kids to get ready...so that they could say goodbye to their Grandpa...Jonathan went and got on the suit that we had bought him for his baptism. He wanted to look his very best to say goodbye to his Grandpa...David said that when he saw Jonathan get dressed up...it touched him...and he decided to dress a little better too! That night everyone within my immediate family gathered around my dad...and the nurses slowly removed his life support. They each told him goodbye...and waited until his spirit crossed over into his eternal reward. I do not regret my decision to stay away...I have much better memories of him alive...instead of dead! I went to my voice class...and sang "Oh Shanendoah" - I couldn't even make it through the whole song...I cracked when I got to the part "I long to see you...away you rolling river"! To this day whenever I hear that song...I think of my Dad...and his passing. I'm so grateful for my earthly father...and every day...I still hold a prayer in my heart...that my dad is up there watching over us...and working through whatever needs be...so that he will be able to be with us for eternity! I have faith in him...and I know that I will see him again someday! Time goes by so quickly...five years have come and gone...and I'm amazed at how different life is without my father! I'm grateful for temple marriage...and look forward to the day that I can run into his arms once more...and let him know how much he meant too me! Never forget to tell your loved ones how much you love them...never take the chance that you might not get to see them again in this life...life is too short and too quick to change...to ever take a chance like that! May whoever reads this rejoice in their family...whether ther are close to them or not...in the end...all we have is our family and close friends...so never take them for granted! ~ Christina

"Jesus Wept"

I went over to my sister Tricia's house on Saturday night...while David and Jonathan were at Priesthood Session...and watched the movie "Charly" with my kids and nieces. It has been a LONG time since I have seen that movie...but nevertheless it brought me to tears once more. It is not necessarily the suffering that takes place when they find out that the main character is dying of cancer and leaving behind her husband and young child...but more the picture that Charly (the main character) paints of the Savior - when he comes to Lazarus's tomb. The Savior is comforting Mary and Martha...and he is weeping at the loss of his friend Lazarus. In the movie it explains that Charly's picture represents a loving Savior who did not diminish his friend's pain...but instead wept openly with them! He knew that moments later he would raise Lazarus from the dead...and that their tears were premature and would turn into true joy when their brother walked forward from his tomb...yet he wept with them. This hits me to the core of my heart...it represents to me the very essence of the Savior's heart and love for each of us! "Jesus Wept" what more beautiful words can you hear...they envelop so much more then just their obvious meaning! The Savior is not just a man who lived and died for our sins...but he is very much a part of our lives now! He watches over us...and feels every emotion that we feel...he understands each one of us to the depth of our hearts and soul! He laughs when we laugh, cries when we cry, and picks us up when we fall! He asks so very little of us...only that we turn our heart to him each day...let him be in control of our lives...and to trust that even when we don't understand why we must suffer through whatever comes our way...that we are NOT alone...and that he is with us every step of the way! I like watching Charly...because it wakens something deep within me...that gets pushed aside with the crazy, every day activities that threaten to make me forget. Get up, wake up the kids, get them breakfast, get them dressed, change diapers, pile them in the car and take them to school, come home and clean up the house, put your littlest one down for a nap, pick the kids up from school, help them with their homework, get them dinner, spend quality time with them, and go to bed...wake up and start the process all over again! How easy it is to forget that I am a daughter of God who loves me...who cherishes my thoughts, desires, my hopes and my dreams! How often I feel so alone...when I am always just a prayer away from my loving Heavenly Father and older brother! I don't want to forget the feelings that watching Charly envokes...I won't to hold onto them...to cherish them...to breathe deeply and let them overcome my soul! I'm so grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me...even when I sometimes do not love myself! I'm grateful that even when I forget him...he NEVER forgets me! I'm grateful for an older brother who gave everything he had...and suffered so greatly that I could live again...and be made clean thru his blood! Jesus Wept...I don't know if there have ever been two more beautiful words...and I pray that one day I may be given the opportunity to kneel at his side...and bathe his feet with my tears! Tears of gratitude for all of the times he wept with me...for all of the times that he picked me up when I could no longer walk and gave me strength beyond my own. My heart is so full at this moment...and I pray that I may engrave the words: "Jesus Wept" upon the very center of it...so that those beautiful words and the overwhelming gratitude and love that I feel for my older brother will NEVER be forgotten! In the name of him whom I serve and dedicate my life too...even my savior, Jesus Christ, AMEN! ~ Christina Allen

"Eight is Great"

It is funny how your kids grow up right before your eyes...and yet it seems like they were always the age that they are now at. It is almost like we are living simultaneous lifetimes together. I remember Jared as a baby...but it is almost like a parallel universe to him being baptized now. The best example that I can give of this is: life before my dad passed away...and life now. It is almost like when he was still with us...it was a different movie being played...and then when he passed on...the movie changed. It is like he was always alive...and then again always gone from our lives. Hopefully, that explains what I'm trying to say about Jared being eight years old. Jared has such a sweet spirit and tender heart...he cares so much about those who suffer and who have died...especially young. I pray that he will always remain so child-like and open to the spirit. He's changing from my little boy...to a little man! I couldn't be more proud of him...neither could David! He is so cute in his baptism clothes! EIGHT IS GREAT!!

"Glomerulonephritis"

I know that I've said this before...but Jared is such a character...and a tremendously sweet little boy! He used to introduce himself to everyone that he met by saying, "Hi, I'm Jared Allen Michael!" I never tire of his crazy antics or his tender heart! A few weeks ago...he went to the bathroom and forgot to flush the toilet...thank goodness that he didn't...because when I looked into the toilet bowl...the liqued was a brown color. This concerned me a bit...and I set an appointment for his primary care doctor to see him...They said that he had blood and protein in his urine...and put him on some antibiotics...plus sent him out for futher blood tests. I didn't think much more of it...except that when his blood tests came back...they said that his potassium levels were high...and that he was anemic. He finished the antibiotics...and within a day his urine was brown again...I took him back and they put him on a different antibiotic. In the meantime...I asked for his lab results...and when I got them...I faxed them to David's parents...so that they could go over them with Jared's Great Uncle John (who is a doctor). Uncle John said to take him to the emergency room immediatly...because he was in the beginning stages of renal failure...you can imagine how I took that news. I rushed him in...and had a heck of a time getting the attending physician to understand why I had brought him to the E.R. when Jared felt no pain...and had no signs of bodily trauma. They did further testing and found out that sometime in the past few weeks...Jared had to have had a strep infecction...and afterward...the strep antibodies started attacking the blood vessels that filter the blood through the kidneys...it is a LONG word that I can't even pronounce...but it is calle Glomerulonnephritis. The antibiotics usually take care of it...but it takes a good three months to a year for him to fully recooperate. He was such a good sport...several times he had to have blood drawn...and he didn't even flinch. He just sat there and watched the tubes fill up with his blood...11 of them to be exact on one occasion! He is pretty much back to normal...no brown urine...but it extemely tired because he lost a signifigant amount of red blood cells...thus the anemia. He was given a priesthood blessing by his Dad and Uncle Zyad...and promised that the disfunction in his body would leave and that he would heal up. A few times...I have to admit...I was afraid that it might be worse then it turned out to be...blood in the urine...is just not a good thing! I kept praying...please Heavenly Father...please do not take him now...I'm not ready to let him go. It was a scarey couple of weeks...but I am ever grateful that the Lord has watched out for Jared...and that he is in the process of healing now. We still have some specialist doctor appointments to go too...but at least I know what is wrong with him...and that it is on it's way to healing. I'm thankful for the peace that the Lord gave to my heart throughout this whole situation...and I'm so grateful for my sweet Jared...who endures pain well...and doesn't even complain! Life would NOT be as fun and fullfilling without him in our lives! He is the laughter in our hearts and the joy in our lives! LOVE YOU JARED...MAY YOU NEVER CHANGE FROM THE SWEET, FUNNY, LITTLE BOY THAT YOU ARE TODAY...MY SON! ~Mom