Gratitude

We had a family party at a very wealthy customers house today. They have a really cool pool with a 15 foot cliff to jump off of. We invited friends and family and had a really wonderful time. Somewhere in all of the fun...I was told by one of our friends that a common friend of ours had lost their daughter just three weeks ago. Aparantly, she choked on an apple slice and was later taken off life support a week later. I went to this common friend's blog to check it out and watched the tribute to their sweet two year old daughter from the funeral. My heart was torn in two for this sweet little family and what they are going through! Perhaps, at some other time...I would not understand how great there pain might be...but circumstances in the last year have left me very much more knowledgeable about their situation! On November 19, 1007 - our sweet liitle daughter, Cosette, fell over our back yard fence into a neighbor's yard and was attacked by a dog. My six year old ran in to tell me that she had fallen over the fence and by the time I ran out to get her...the neighbor's dog had her throat in his mouth and was shaking her. I still do not know how I jumped over the fence, but I did! Call it the adreneline or the Lord's help...maybe both...but I scaled that fence in seconds! I landed right into the neighbor's cacti...but I didn't feel the stickers penetrate my skin until much, much later. The only thing that I was thinking of was saving my daughter from that dog. The dog to it's credit backed off when I reached her and by some miracle...my oldest son Jonathan, who had just gotten home from playing with a friend, heard us in the back yard and also scaled the fence. He warded off the two dogs...while I looked for a way to get Cosette out of the situation. I ran to the back door of my neighbor's house. It was a glass door and the T.V. was on...I thought surely somebody had to be home. (Later I found out that they keep the T.V. running to keep the dogs company) I pounded on the door as loud as I could with one hand...while trying desparately to stop the bleeding from Cosette's neck. Nobody answered...so I ran to the back gate...it was locked with a padlock. I started screaming, "SOMEBODY HELP ME...PLEASE...SOMEBODY HELP ME!" All the while, the dogs were still trying to nip at Cosette's toes and Jonathan (my savior at that time) kept kicking them away. By then my outfit was drenched in Cosette's blood...her eyes were rolling back into her head and she was quietly calling out for me to help her. She was Wheezing...and I knew that she couldn't breathe good. She never lost comple consciencness, but she definately wasn't completly aware and alert either. By some miracle...my next door neighbor behind us had heard the commotion and come out to see what was going on. By then I was panicked and not thinking clearly. Adam told me to hand Cosette over to him...so he could take her across the street to Garth Liecthy who was a Physician's Assistant. I didn't want to let her go...somewhere in my mind...I didn't want to let her go...I think that I wasn't sure if I would see her alive again or not...and I didn't want to let her pass on without being in my arms. That is the only logical explanation that I can think of...why else did it take him several times to tell me to give her to him. I finally handed her off to Adam and he took her right away to Garth. I told Jonathan to grab my cell phone so we could call 911. He ran in and grabbed it off the kitchen counter...and brought it back to me. He handed it to me over the fence (I was still in my neighbor's yard at that time) and he hopped up onto the top of the fence and stradled it with both legs. He just sat there filled with an anger that I have never seen in such a young child...he definately wanted to kill those dogs for hurting his little sister. I called 911...but I was a basket case! It took me awhile to spit out what had happened and where we were. I was suprised when after only a couple of minutes...the 911 operator told me that help was on the way and then hung up. I always expected them to stay on the phone with you until the help arrived. She was right...I heard the sirens...and the fire department showed up first. By this time, Sister Harvey, who lives across the street was in my back yard and asking me how she could help. I asked her if she could take my kids...until my Mom could relieve her. She agreed and started to coax Jonathan off the wall. It took her several tries...and she had to force him to make eye contact with her...before he would even move. I jumped over the fence and ran around the corner to see what Cosette's prognosis was. Garth and Kelly Gleve, another neighbor, had her in their arms and were trying to stop the bleeding. Kelly asked me if they could give her a quick blessing and I agreed. Kelly ran to get some annointed oil and I just fell to my knees and wept like a baby. I think that I was going into shock too. Kelly came back and asked what her full name was. I said, "Cosette Elizabeth Allen." They gave her a very quick blessing, I don't even remember what they said, and handed her off to the paramedics. The paramedics asked if I wanted to ride to the hospital with her and I said yes. They took one look at me and asked me to change my clothes and hurry up. I ran into my home and took off my shirt...which was completly soaked in blood. I looked down at my white pants and they too were soaked in Cosette's blood. I ended up just changing my shirt, I grabbed my purse and her insurance card...and ran to the ambulance. They took her to Maricopa Medical Hospital...which was 15 minutes away. I was sitting in the front seat and all I could do is look thru a little window at my daughter who by this time had wires everywhere and a breathing mask on. I kept saying out loud over and over again...please don't let her die God...please don't take her from me...not now...not yet! Somehow, I got myself together enough to make a couple of phone calls...I called David to let him know what had happened and to meet me at the hospital (he had taken Lilli out for some father/daughter bonding time and wasn't there when everything happened) then I called my Mom and asked her to meet me at the hospital...and my in - laws...and finally my best friend to pick up my kids. It seemed like it took forever to get to the hospital...but finally we arrived. They took Cosette in right away on a stretcher...and then I had to fill out paper work and couldn't be with her. Finally, the adreneline started to fade...and I noticed that my leg was in some pain. I looked down and noticed the cactus thorns in my ankle and foot. (My sister-in-law, Starla, ended up digging out about 87 cactus thorns a week later!) I asked them if they had any tweezers and if I could borrow some extra pants...mine were filled with cactus thorns. They gave me a pair of tweezers and donated a pair of scrub pants for me to wear. When I changed out of my blood soaked pants...I just threw them in the garbage because I didn't want any memory of Cosette bleeding to death in my arms. They asked me if I wanted to be admitted to the hospital for my cactus thorns...I kindly thanked them...but said that I wanted to be available for my daughter. By the time that I got to see Cosette again...David had arrived with his Dad...and both my in-laws and David and I went back to see her. I could tell that David was very shaken up when he saw sweet Sette (our pet name for her) because he had tears in his eyes and he just kept rubbing her foot. I have hardly ever seen him cry in 13 years of marriage...maybe twice. Cosette had also cracked her forehead open on the way down from the fence and had a huge gash from the top of her forehead...almost down to the top of her nose...it was really ghastly. She was still bleeding from her neck wounds and her right hand was swollen and pierced with teeth marks. She was definately a scarey sight to see! David and his Dad gave Cosette another blessing...in which David promised Cosette complete healing...to the point that it would almost be like it never happened. He promised her that the Doctor's hands would be guided if she needed surgery...and that she would be blessed with peace and comfort. It was a beautiful blessing...I shall never forget it for as long as I live! After we let my mom and a few other family members come into the emergency room and see Cosette...the doctors said that they needed to take her in for surgery. As they were wheeling her away for surgery...she said something to David and I...which at first we couldn't understand. She removed her oxygen mask and as we drew closer to her...she whispered in the most calm, sweetest voice..."Doggie hurt me, Daddy" "Doggy hurt me." Then she replaced her mask and bravely looked at us while they wheeled her away. When she spoke to us...it sounded almost like she was just expressing to us...something that someone had explained to her. She had an angelic, peaceful spirit about her...and we truly believe that she was with somebody...both during the accident and after! We all waited in the family waiting room while they performed surgery on our sweet, brave daughter. We were told that the surgery would take about an hour and a half...but two hours later...we were still waiting for any news at all about her progress. Finally, at about midnight most of our family and friends were about to leave home...when someone came out to explain what was going on. The doctor told us that they had to repair her jugular vein both on the front side and on the back. Her jugular vein was pierced by the dog's teeth twice, and her trachea was pierced four times. They were still in surgery...it ended up taking them between four and six hours to repair all of the damage done. Everybody else went home...except my mom and I. We waited a couple hours more while they moved Cosette to the Pediatric ICU. The total damage done besides her jugular vein and trachea being pierced, and her forehead being cracked open...was a fractured skull...in the back of her head where the dog had bit her...and a fractured jaw where the dog had bit her cheek. Plus, she had multiple bit wounds on her back, hands and neck. When my mom and I first saw her...she was completely swollen around the face...and she was wrapped up in a blanket to keep her warm. I just cried and held her hand. I was so tired...but I didn't want to leave her side. My mom convince me to get some sleep and to return early the next morning. I finally relented and we drove home...needless to say...I didn't sleep very well that night! We returned the next day...and she was still non-responsive...but now they had her on a breathing ventilator to help her breathe. It was one of the scariest sites to see your child laying, helpless in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of her nose...and an I.V. in her fragile little arm. She only weighed 25 lbs at the time. After the surgery...they ended up giving her three units of blood because she had lost so much. We were also told later that when they went in to probe the jugular vein for surgery...there was a clot that came lose...and she started bleeding profusely. Thankfully, she was at the hospital...and they could do something to save her life! I was also told that it is very rare for the jugular vein to clot like that because of all of the pressure in the vein...it hardly ever happens! Garth told us that if her jugular vein hadn't clotted when it did...she would have been dead within minutes after the dog attacked her and I picked her up. I truly believe with all of my heart that the blessing that Garth and Kelly gave her at the scene of that accident...and later the blessing that David and his Dad gave to her at the hospital...saved her life. She is truly a miracle!! I guess that tonight when I heard about the sweet baby of our friend dying...so young...and in such an inordinary way...it made me realize that our situation could have turned out so much differently then it did. I don't know why the Lord chose to take sweet "Lucy" and spare our Cosette...but I know that he has his purposes...and that only he knows the beginning from the end...and what those purposes are. My heart goes out to Vic and his wife! I was fortunate enough to not have to bury my child...but I can relate to the fear of having something happen...which is out of our control...and not knowing what the Lord's will is. The rest...I have no idea...like I said...I can't even imagine their pain and grief! I pray that the Lord's peace will be with them...and help them thru this terrible time in their lives! Everytime I look at Cosette...I am grateful that she is still here! She has a pupose here on Earth...just like I'm sure Lucy has a purpose in Heaven. It is not ours to question...but it is ours to take NOTHING for granted...not even ONE precious moment in our lives...for it may be our last! May God be with whoever reads this...and may you be grateful for every breath you take! ~Christina
P.S. A side note to all of this...is later when Cosette came home and could talk again...she said out of the blue one day...remember when you rescued me Mama? Remember when I died and you jumped over the fence to rescue me from the doggie? (The only way she could of seen me...is if she had been watching me from above) I truly believe that angels walked with her that day...and am ever grateful for that knowledge! ~ Christina