"Tantrums"

Today when we came home from church...my kids were ravished with hunger...especially my four year old...Cosette. Usually...she is such a gentile and loving child...but she definitely has a "Mr. Hyde" side to her as well! LOL! I was trying to make sandwiches as fast as I could for the hungry wolves at my feet...but apparantly...I wasn't fast enough for Cosette. She started screaming and hitting me...and I patiently kept working on her sandwich...and telling her to calm down...it would be there soon...but that didn't do anything for her. She finally started telling me that she hated me...and that I was poopoo...and that was all I could take. I was able to stay calm and explain to her that I understood she was hungry and upset...but that I couldn't allow her to be rude to me...especially when I was doing something nice for her. I told her that her sandwich was ready for her whenever she wanted it...but that I needed her to apologize for what she said...and to do something nice for me. I gave her the very small task of picking up a few toys in the kitchen and putting them away into her bedroom...and then she could have her sandwich after she apologized for what she said. Cosette would have no part in my compromise...she just kept hitting me and screaming. It was quite heart breaking...to see my sweet little girl...who I knew was starving...refuse to be comforted...and insist on continuing her tantrum. I tried to pick her up into my arms to calm her down...and show her that she was loved...but she wouldn't let me hold her. She just kept pushing me away. I knew that if I gave in...she would learn that it was okay to treat the people who loved her and served her with disrespect and rudeness. It saddened me to see her in so much pain...and yet all she had to do was her part...to gain all that she wanted. Finally, after what seemed like forever...she calmed down enough to let me hold her and comfort her tears. She cried in my arms for a little bit...and then she went on her way...all better... to devour her sandwich and fill her empty tummy. The tantrum may have been over...but my mind was just beginning to process what just happened...and let it all in. The thought came to me...that there are times that even adults need to have tantrums. There are times that we feel let down by others or even our Heavenly Father...and we are angry or sad inside...but we hold onto the feelings...because it isn't appropriate to express those kinds of emotions. We cling to them and push away anything that may be within our reach to heal our wounds and help us forgive those who have trespassed against our hearts. Maybe a brother or sister really hurt us...or maybe the Lord was not there for us in the way that we felt like we needed him to be...and so rather then have our little temper tantrums...and work thru those feelings...and then purge them from our hearts...we just "stuff" them or surround ourselves with mental walls...so we do not get hurt again. I can just see the Lord...standing there...begging us to allow him to comfort our pain...but he can't because we haven't had our temper tantrums to let go of the negative feelings...in order to allow him to fill our hearts with positive feelings. The Lord can't comfort us...until we are ready to allow him too! If we would just let our angry or sad feelings out...then we would purge the darkness...and allow in the light to make us whole. I pray that we will all be able to let the Lord in...to make us complete and soothe the agony and pain that we suffer without his presence. ~ Christina